Thursday, October 3, 2013

what's black and white but mostly grey?

"I'm afraid I'll do a bad job," he told me with emotion in his voice. "And, I'm afraid I'll do a good job and then I'll have to do it forever."

My son, a soccer player, had just been asked to play goalie for his team.  A position he does not enjoy playing. A few years ago, while playing goalie, he was scrambling for the ball and ended up getting kicked in the head. Twice. He hasn't played that position since. But, his current coach, in all fairness, was giving each boy on the team the opportunity to play goalie, and it was my son's turn.

I can totally understand his quandary. Who wants to stand in a net covered box, waiting for a ball to come slamming into your body with a possible kick to the head to follow? (Not me.) Not to mention the pressure. During the game, passing and kicking the ball around is a team effort, but when the ball heads for the goal, the goalie is ultimately responsible for what happens.

He's just twelve years old but I thought his assessment of the situation was pretty insightful. No one wants to fail. No one wants to be forced to remain in an unhappy situation, even if it benefits others.

For the soccer game to succeed, each team needs a goalie, whether the goalies like it or not. So for my son, the situation is both good and bad.  Bad-because he doesn't want to do it, but good- because if he does it, he will benefit the team and possibly be a good goalie.

Good and bad, all mixed together.

This pretty much sums up how I feel about my Neurologist.

He is supposedly the best in my state. He's considered a MS specialist. He travels the world attending conferences and keeping up to date on the latest pertinent information.

Yet, he has zero personality, his office staff is highly inefficient, and any communication with them is an exercise in extreme frustration. I've been their patient for two years now and no one knows who I am. I've left his office on more than one occasion vowing to never return.  Yet, I keep going back.

Good and bad, all mixed together.

I suppose that life is like that.  Opportunities come along and they're not always as clear cut as we would like. Things aren't always black and white, most of the time there is a lot of grey.

And that's what keeps life interesting.

Like it or not.

1 comment:

  1. Add to it the fact that tweens are so self-conscious -- they believe everyone is looking solely at them. What a difficult time for the poor kid.
    I began with my neurologist shortly after he began his practice, and I loved him. Unfortunately, he soon increased his workload, and I never felt as if he was listening to me anymore. Then, he decided to become a concierge doctor, and I could no longer afford him. So, it was adios.