Sometimes I'm sick of me.
I not a "seeking the limelight" sort of person. I prefer to be behind the scenes. Someone told me in high school that before knowing me, they thought I was stuck up, because I seemed so quiet. It seems like an odd association but then again, it was high school.
So when the news of your diagnosis makes the rounds with your family, friends, neighbors and church associates, all of a sudden it's hard to be just "you."
You are suddenly the girl with MS.
The one with MS.
MS R us.
A complete stranger, who had heard of my diagnosis wanted to talk to me about it a few days ago.
Is it wrong that I get bugged by this?
I spend enough time in my head pondering and worrying if my latest numbness or pain means I'm getting worse, or is it just a bad day?
I realize that people are concerned and empathetic about my situation. I know this.
But I just want to be me. I'm the mother of seven amazing kids. I'm creative. I like all kinds of music. I play the piano (sort of). I like to sew and decorate my house. I like to plant flowers. I love to read.
MS is just a small part of me, at least for now. It doesn't define me, yet. The day may come that I am incapacitated by it, but for now I just want to be me.