Monday, April 23, 2012

unexpected

Life, I am sure you know, is unexpected.

I didn't expect to have four sons. I didn't expect to have three daughters. I didn't expect that one of these daughters would only spend 14 days on earth. I didn't expect to have grey hair quite so early. I didn't expect to live in Ecuador for 16 months. I didn't expect to love my neighborhood so much. I didn't expect to have such an amazing husband (though I hoped for it). I didn't expect to be such good friends with my sisters. I didn't expect to be so flat chested (although I should have known!).

I didn't expect to be diagnosed with MS a month before my 40th birthday.

I'm still not used to it.  Sometimes, I think in my mind, it's like having the flu.  Something that will knock me down temporarily, but I will eventually bounce back to normal. I'm having trouble adjusting to the finality of MS.  It's not going away.

I had a really good week last week.  I felt better than I have in a long time.  I got lots done around the house; cleaning, sewing projects and other things I've wanted to do for months.  Although sadly my pile of ironing didn't get any smaller.

I start to think, "I'm better! It was a rough couple of months, but now I will be normal again!"  These are happy thoughts.

Yesterday we went to church, ate a delicious meal together as a family, then went to see our darling newborn nephew at the hospital.  The weather was gorgeous and I was happy.

We returned home after the hospital visit and as I was changing clothes, I started to feel a change.

Within 10 minutes it seemed like every molecule of energy in my body had been sucked out.

I slowly shuffled to the couch and could hardly move the rest of the night.  I am the same today.

Life is unexpected.

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